Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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