I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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