I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.