I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.