theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.