it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
