Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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