So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
