Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
