I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I smell like Dick and happiness
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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