As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
