omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't think brook has ever known best
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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