Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
