You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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