We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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