She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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