Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
