There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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