I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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