i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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