Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
