I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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