Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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