i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
