wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
