I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
