Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
