do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
