i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
