I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
