My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
