their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
