I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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