Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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