It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
