my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
