Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize