you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
