I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
