i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
