any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
