so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
