Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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