u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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