In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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