Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
