She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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