The maid of honor just puked.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he shaved USA in his pubs
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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