Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize