so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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