no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
