I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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