elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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