If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
