I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
