it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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