Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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