When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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