Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
